The Rambling RedHead

And deliver us from evil (bunny rabbits).. Amen..

As I have stated many, many, many times before, CoraBean has repeatedly called me “Flypaper for Freaks”. Oh sure, every now and then I manage to snag a normal guy but inevitably their personal issues, unfortunate geography. chemical dependencies or deep seeded neuroses doom the relationship.. You know, because it’s never my fault. That’s a given.. Overall, my post-marriage dating life has been a series of events that make the Greek Tragedies look like a night at the comedy club.. For the most part I get guys like Seriously Insane Biker Boy, geriatrics posing as youthful firemen, guys who pass out on me before the date even starts, the guys who call me at 2:00am and want me to talk them out of getting married and men that are on mafia watch lists all across the nation.. Harlequin Romance Boy was no exception.. My love life no longer even really shocks or disturbs me.. I’m so used to the ongoing parade of freaks without a circus that I barely bat an eye at things that would normally send people into therapy..

Until yesterday.

Allow me to back up to the issue of The Rambling Redhead.. I had a few very harsh emails regarding The Tragic Death of Harlequin Romance Boy saying I was being cruel and unkind.. Allow me to retort:

1. Everyone I have ever gone out with in the last 2 years knows I have a blog. I have always had the disclaimer that, in general, anything you say or do can and will be held against you online. This applies to The Suspects, the men I date, my kids, my family, everyone is fair game.

2. That being said, anytime someone has sincerely asked for me not to write about something, I have respected that request. Believe me, some of my best stores are the ones that will never be written.. One person I dated pretty much punctuated every remotely interesting thing that ever happened between us with “If this shows up in your blog, there will be vengeance” or something equally as annoying completely non-threatening.

3. The two previous reasons are why I no longer give anyone I am dating access to this blog and do all my non-dating ranting on MySpace.. It's bad enough there are a few people I have gone out with, one semi-serious, that have access. Since the demise of that relationship, I have kept Rambling completely limited to existing The List and anonymous additions that are not related or involved with The Suspects. I always caution people about forwarding the blog to their sweeties if there is a chance they might show up on here. This is my safe haven for ranting.

4. I go to great lengths to disguise the identities of people that I write about, especially when it is going to be a tale of dating disasters. Even when they deserve to be identified and possibly branded with a giant “A” for “Asshole” on their forehead. I never use real names if there is anything embarrassing being written, except for The Suspect’s and they always have veto power. Anyone that knows me knows I would never intentionally harm or be cruel to anyone.

Are we all clear on this?

Good because there is an interesting post script to The Tragic Death of Harlequin Romance Boy that I just feel a need to share.. Yesterday, I was deleting some old inbox messages on MySpace and noticed Harlequin Romance Boy had changed his picture.. I flipped to his profile out of curiosity and this was what was waiting for me:


Oh my Holy Mary Mother of God..

I’m at a loss for words. If I had not dated this guy, I would have said he was the gayest man in Gaydonia..

Sidebar: I have absolutely nothing against gay men, with the possible exception of me viewing them as either competition in my target dating pool or, in the case of the really hot gay guys, a tragic loss for womankind. Conversely, I adore my lesbian friends because they represent less competition in my dating pool.. Well, unless things continue the way they are in my love life.. my new motto is “One bad date away from a lifestyle change”..

But I digress..

I forwarded this picture out to my same-gender oriented friends o’ my bosom for a second opinion and the official Gay vote was “queer as a 3 dollar bill”. I forwarded the picture out to The Suspects for thoughts and comments and some kind of reassurance..

Jenny responded with a picture comment on MySpace:








And a former Buffy Fan sent this along:








However, Kansas may have summed it up best by saying: “Okay that is just wrong wrong wrong. Holy New Kid on the block gay. Holy running man gay. Holy go to the prom with your mom gay. Holy fucking bunny suit gay. Actually, I feel I may be filled with gayness just for having seen that shit. “

So my initial assessment about him being testosterone deficient may have been a little more insightful than even I would have initially thought.. The general consensus was that no man, no matter how secure he was in his sexuality, no matter how chock full of testosterone they may really be would ever post a picture of themselves in Bunny Suit.

Hell, that kid from A Christmas Story knew it was a bad idea and he was only 10!!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be heading off to find a psychiatrist.. I am in desperate need of some therapy after this.. Barring that I will be scrubbing out my skull with bleach in an attempt to remove this image from my brain.

And before anyone can say that posting this was also cruel and mean spirited, allow me to point out he posted this all by himself on his own page with which he is attempting to generate dates or a relationship.. With women..

Yeah, good luck with that..

At least I white-ed out his face.. Which removed the best part of the image: whiskers and a cute bunny nose..

*shudder*

On the plus side, I have tickets to Game 5 of the Stanley Cup playoffs that I think will return my testosterone levels back to their normal levels..

GO CANES!!

posted by Monet @ 3:55 PM 0 comments