17 Bad Dates... Part 2
Once again, God decided that I was taking way too many liberties with what constitutes a bad date.. Note to self: Hanging out with Kansas inspires the wrath of God. 11. This has to be the most humiliating date ever. It was a quiet night at home, I was kicked back, enjoying a frosty adult beverage and a really bad movie from the 80's.. I got a call from Dave, a person with whom I can only term our relationship as "complicated".. We've never dated, will never date and generally don't even care too much for each other but we have a strange sort of chemistry between us and occasionally hang out and get on each other's nerves.. So I get this call where he proceeds to invite me over to watch a movie.. What the heck.. it's only 10:00pm and frankly, I'm feeling a bit lonely.. Once I get to his neighborhood, I give him a call to remind me where the actual house is.. No answer.. I call again.. No answer.. And again.. No answer.. After about 10 tries I head back home.. The next morning I get a text message from him saying he was sorry but he fell asleep.. Priceless.. This, my friends, is the sludge sucking bottom of the dating pool.. When they can't even be bothered to stay awake for the date, you've hit rock bottom.
12. I'm actually counting the last one twice. He fell asleep, people. That's worse than being stood up.. The blow my ego took was harsh enough that counting it only twice is probably a total underestimation. At the very least it evens out all those platonic dates with Kansas.
13. Ted, a firefighter from Raleigh, from, once again, Yahoo. He sends me a picture of himself. Pretty cute. He says he's a young 38, divorced, one kid.. We agree to meet at RiRa's. When he walks up and says hi, I did a huge double take.. 38, my ass. The man was old enough to be my father.. He was at least mid-50'ss. That's just wrong. Did he not think I would notice he was around 15 years older than he claimed to be?? And then there was the fact that he stuck out like a sore thumb with the 30 Something crowd at RiRa's.. We get our drinks and sit down. After a mind-numbingly uncomfortable 10 minutes I get up to go get another drink and hit the ladies room. When I get back, Ted says that while I was gone, the band (The Complaints, one of my favorite bands that I help with promotions from time to time) had dedicated a song to me and wanted me to come on stage to do a shot but I was nowhere to be found. He then proceeds to ask "how many guys from the band *have* you slept with?".. Now that just pissed me off, as rudeness is one of my biggest pet peeves.. However, it did provide me with my exit strategy... I stood up, shook his hand and said:
"Thanks, enjoy your drink, if you run home now I bet you can still catch the end of Matlock, Gramps..".14. Yet another Yahoo candidate. I'm just a walking advertisement for Yahoo, huh? Except that all my experiences with Yahoo have sucked ass. At this point, I'm starting to actually enjoy the thrilling anticipation of predicting the psychosis. What will be wrong with this one??.. Let's call this one "I'm Nuts and Maybe A danger To Everyone I meet".. Initially,
INMATE seemed normal, but then, don't they all.. In our initial calls I clarified that he did actually look like and was the same age as in his pictures, had a 3 year old son and was not a Jehovah's Witness and proceeded from there, affirming that my screening process has still got vast room for improvement.. We never actually met, which is why this probably shouldn't qualify as a bad date but given what transpired, I'm counting it anyways..
After chatting a bit he discloses that his former business partner was recently convicted and sentenced to 9 years in prison for violation of SPAM-ing laws but that he had left the business prior to the illegal activities.. He said he felt he had to mention it as his name was very publicly associated with the criminal charges, even though he was never involved in them.. I made a few phone calls (I've got friends in low places..) and yep, his name was all over the news and criminal records associated with this trial.. However, the info my sources tapped into seemed to support his story that he was not actually involved in the criminal trial, just that he was a former partner in the business and a victim of identity theft... Of course, the slight skepticism that remained should have been exacerbated into full fledged "abandon ship" panic by the fact that he seemed to have no discernible job and indicated his income came from "up North" and that he worked primarily in "sheltered income" and "non-traditional investment opportunities ". Most of his income was "undocumented commission".. When I ran this by Kansas, his reply was
"Mafia or Amway.. Either way, you're fucked.. The guy is bad news.." Despite the red flags, alarm bells and the sound of the siren they use for impending nuclear power plant disasters, I initially agreed to meet him for a date the following week.. However, over the weekend, sanity prevailed and I decided to back out. I'm lonely, not desperate. I called Sunday night and left a quick message saying to call me back.. About an hour later I get a call back..
From his mother.. She wanted to know if I knew her son..
"Uhhh, sort of? Why??".. Apparently he disappeared a few days before and she saw my name on his caller ID and wanted to know if I had any contact with him.. I said nope, none since last week and I had never met him in person, didn't know anything about him, knew nothing about his business activities or what he even looked like (just in case we were dealing with a federal wire-tap or potential mob hit).. I did ask if his son was missing as well.. She said oh no, she had been watching his son all weekend.. I said if I heard from him, I would be sure to ask him to call home.. After we hung up, I changed his number in my caller ID from his name to "DNA" as in Do Not Answer..
The part where he was gone for 3 days without calling to check on his kid (no parent does that) caused me to draw the conclusion that he either was fleeing an indictment or ran afoul of the mob.. Suddenly the Amway scenario was looking less and less likely.. Given I never heard from him again, I concluded he was either floating on the end of cement shoes or possibly adjusting to life as a Canadian..
I was wrong.
He is apparently alive and well and is friends with the
Escort that tried to woo AJ from MySpace.. How very not surprising..
This is where it ends. After the felony guy, I decided that staying single was a valid life choice, at least for the time being. I just couldn't continue to subject myself to these dating disasters without wanting to throw myself under a bus. I pretty much quit dating, focused on my mission trip and then just spent time with my friends and my kids. Oddly enough, I sort of miss my maniacal dating spree. I learned a lot about human nature and about what fear really is. I also really learned to appreciate that God would put the right person in front of me in all due time. Since then there've been some hits and some misses, but nothing nearly as comical as the hootenanny cavalcade of online dating disasters from last summer.. I swore off online dating forever and decided that the right guy would appear when He decided I was ready..
Oddly enough, there is a funny little post script to this story. I recently started seeing someone kinda fantastic. As everyone knows, my rule is not to write about the people I am dating until it is serious or I at least have determined how they feel about being blogged. Hell, the last guy I dated prefaced every date, conversation, intimacy and phone call with "If this shows up on the blog, I will never speak to you again.."
For irony's sake, I will reveal that I met
Mr. Fantastic online through My Space.
God sure has a quirky sense of humor.
17 Bad Dates.... Part 1
In
The Between Boyfriend's Book, the author submits the hypotesis that you have to go on 17 bad dates after a break-up before you get to have a good one.. To test this theory during a dry spell late last Spring, for purely scientific purposes, I decided track my own dating progress over approximately 30 days to see how long it took me to get to the "good man" part of the equation.. Or to get through 17 dates, whichever came first..
Before I could begin to chronicle my disastrous dating experiences, I had to determine the appropriate starting point. That Spring I had ended things with The Mad Scotsman and then had 3 very promising dates with someone new before that abruptly ended (insert yada, yada, yada, here). Do I start counting with the end of my relationship with The Mad Scotsman or the end of my not-quite-a-relationship-but-it-was-fun thing?? I decided to start my quest with the date that ended the not-quite-a-relationship.
Further, I decided to couple this quasi-scientific experiment with a foray into the world of online dating.. My theory was if I was going to have to endure 17 bad dates, let’s make sure they were *really* bad dates. Enter The Yahoo Personals. Also known as Dating Hell.
I know, I know, online dating seems so, I don’t know, desperate? Shady?? Dangerous?? Yes to all of the above. But frankly, the look of panic on men's faces when they hear "2 kids" prompted me to be willing to go the online route.. At least this way, all my baggage is right out there so anyone that has a problem with it won't waste my time. It's the equivalent of wearing a dating biohazard sign.
Here we go..
1. My promising beginning came to an abrupt end over dessert at Ben and Jerry's, forever altering my high regard for Berry Berry Extrordinary forever.
2. Dinner with Kansas.. Technically it probably doesn't count as a date b/c we are just friends and the evening in question also occurred the day before I got dumped but the fact that he spent the whole night flirting with AJ while I was making him dinner for his birthday was annoying enough for me to decide to count it anyways.
3. Went out dancing on Cinqo de Mayo with Marco, the Vixen’s 22 year old boy-toy. He is just possibly the best dancer I have ever met. He could give my Evil Twin Jared a run for his money. I decided it counts as a date because he paid for the drinks and there was some naughty dancing involved. The fact that I could have babysat for him while I was still in college eliminated any chance of him being anything other than an incredible ego boost..
4. Drinks with a Todd from Yahoo personals. Nice guy, 2 kids, church goer, lots of promise.. We met for drinks at a local restaurant.. At the risk of losing points, I have to say it wasn't a bad date, I just felt absolutely no sparkage between us.. But he was such a nice guy, I agreed to a future date.
Ladies and Gentlemen, right about here is where the dating took a turn for the strange and unusual.. Apparently God did not like me counting Kansas as a date or dancing with a 22 year old and decided to smite me for my actions.5. Dinner with a Huge, Drunk, Obnoxious Redneck. This was not a date of my choice. This was supposed to be Dani's wedding weekend (which obviously did not happen) so we did what any sensible women in that situation do. We left town. Friday night she hit it off with a cute boy and suckered me into flying wingman for his friend for dinner on Saturday. The dinner was actually not that bad but after it was over and we headed to a bar, HDOR proceeded to get pretty schockered and chase away every remotely eligible cute guy within a 10 foot radius. What is the female equivalent of cock-blocking? Boob-blocking?? Whatever it was, he excelled at it. I called it a night at 10:00 and went back to the hotel in favor of some soft core porn on the Oxygen channel.
6. Dinner with James also of Yahoo personals. This is where we get to the heart of the problem with online dating.. The lack of "truthiness".. After several witty and sharply written emails and the exchange of pictures, I pushed for a face to face meeting. At that point he back pedaled and suggested I might be disappointed in him.. This set the alarm bells to ringin' and the red flags a wavin'.. And with good reason.. When he arrived to pick me up, it became obvious that the pictures were not at all recent.. This was an individual who described himself as athletic and sent pics of himself with what appeared to be a 32' waist.. That was probably about 70 lbs ago.. I am not shallow by any stretch of the imagination but, damn.. That's just false advertising.. I would assume most men would be pissed if I touted myself as a tall, busty blonde who sports C cups and then showed up looking like, well, me.. Not that "me" is bad, but it ain't a tall, busty blonde with C cups.. You might think this was what sank the deal for this guy, but actually, the deal breaker was his admission that he was a Jehovah's Witness.. 2 words: Nail and Coffin.
7. Movie at Kansas’ house. Another "technically this is not a date" but we did have wine and watch a movie. I count it because I went over to his place to watch said movie after my disastrously uncomfortable date with James from Yahoo. I think it counts as there was a drink involved and I double booked for the same night.. Essentially the platonic hang out rides on the coattails of the lousy date. Kansas is the dating equivalent of a palate cleanser.. That's a fair play in my rule book. I was hoping God would understand and allow me to count it.
8. I had a 15 minute make-out session with a bar boy, after he gave me a ride home from downtown. This might be gray area in the use of the word "date" but he did buy me several drinks, we spent about an hour hanging out and there was kissing involved.. I blame the free Miller Lite and my enforced celibacy..
9. Second date with Yahoo Todd at the local comedy club.. This has to count as a bad date, not because of my companion but the comedian.. I have no race relations issues but the fact is I am a itty bitty white girl.. We went to see
Patrice O'Neal.. Bear in mind, I am used to the foul mouths of Irish bartenders and dated a Scotsman with Tourettes for over a year so precious little offends or bothers me but even this was a bit much.. The performance was so foul, raunchy, racist and profane that I was actually embarrassed. That's saying something.. I felt bad for Todd b/c I think he was mortified that the show was beyond comedic or risqué.. At one point it was just this guy shouting "N" this and "mother fucker" that .. I couldn't tell where the profanity ended and the jokes began.. I don't actually think there were any jokes.
10. The Inevitable Sex with the Ex.. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. I ended up giving into my hormones and allowing my libido to take the wheel for a night. What the hell.. Given that The Mad Scotsman and I remained friends, I just considered it a naked walk down memory lane. What can I say? Celibacy doesn't suit me.
Next week: Narcolepsy, Matlock and Felons, Oh My!!
Faith in Men?
It goes without saying that I love men. All my life most of my close friends have been men. I have never been one of those “All Men Suck” kind of women and generally have maintained faith in the male of the species and believed that desperate leg humping troglodytes are the exception rather than the rule.
Until recently.
Allow me to share with you 3 stories that give men a bad name. The last one actually occurred this past weekend.. These are the kind of experiences that turns otherwise trusting, secure females such as myself into the kind of crazed psycho that hacks into email, steals a guy’s phone to check the last 10 numbers called and counts the number of condoms in the bathroom drawer (which after
Awkward Conversation #2, should NOT change)..
But He Wasn’t Wearing A Wedding Ring
One night, Dani and I were having post-work drinks at the pub (as we occasionally do) and were approached by several gentlemen who all worked for our federal government.. We did the ring check, 2 with, 2 without.. One of the "withouts” was fairly charming and started chatting me up. As Dani and I were leaving to run home to change out of our work gear, he asked for my phone number. I wasn’t that interested but he seemed nice, somewhat intelligent and at least passably cute and I was single with no promising prospects so I gave it to him. We returned to the pub some 3 hours later to find our local government representatives had not moved. And were shitfaced. So this guy, let’s call him Special Agent CockSucker (actually, Dani did call him that… Repeatedly.. To his face.. God, I love her..) got completely obnoxious and tried to kiss me twice, despite my warnings that I had no qualms with assaulting a federal agent in public. After a few more attempted gropes, I suggested to his friend (Special Agent DipShit) that perhaps he call it a night while he could still walk..
After he finally left, I ended up striking up a conversation and really hitting it off with one of his friends that had just arrived and was therefore sober.. I rapidly developed a keen interest in his friend, more commonly known as
Special Agent Smart Ass. Over the next hour it became obvious that the interest was mutual so I was surprised he didn't ask for my phone number as he was geting ready to leave.. As we've already covered, I'm not much of a Rules Girl so I asked if he wanted to get together one night for a drink. At this point S.A. Smart Ass expressed valid concern that I had given my number to his friend mere hours before. Busted.
Note to self: word travels fast amongst the special agents.. I was honest and said at the beginning of the night, the other guy seemed ok but by the end, he was a drunken jackass and that even if he did call me I had no interest in going out with him given his behavior. At this point, S.A. SmartAss told me not to hold my breath as, I probably wouldn't be hearing from S.A. CockSucker, what with him being married with kids. How right he was.. I never heard from him.. Of course, the fact that I ended up dating SA. SmartAss for awhile also could have impacted his decision not to call as well, so who knows.. In the end, I lost a little faith in the federal government’s character screening process with one gentleman but ultimately more than gained it back in S.A. Smart Ass..
Not Everyone Wants To Sleep With Me.. OK, Maybe They Do..
A funny thing happened on the way to the gynecologist.. I stopped by a coffee shop to kill some time and read a book... An attractive gentleman sits down on the couch across from me and strikes up a conversation.. The first thing I notice about him is that he is wearing a wedding ring.. I don't jump to any negative conclusions. After all, it is 10:45am at a coffee shop and I really don't automatically assume everyone who talks to me is trying to get in my pants.. We engage in casual conversation for about 15 to 20 minutes, he’s just in from out of town and will be traveling to the area frequently, I make suggestions for lodging, dinner and drink locations, etc.. As I am getting ready to leave, he asks if he could get my phone number and take me out for a drink one night as a thank you for being his virtual tour guide.. I asked, ever so politely, if he would be bringing his wife and if so, should I bring my kids?? He proceeded to tell me he and his wife have an "understanding" about when he travels since she doesn’t really enjoy sex anymore. He goes on to tell me that he felt a real connection with me and would like to get to know me better.. To this I replied that there was no point in getting to know me better b/c if he did, he'd know just how lucky he was that I had not kicked his teeth down this throat.
Screw Parental Controls, We Need Spousal Controls..
Since the advent of email, texting, online communities like My Space, etc., the ability to screw around on one’s significant other has become easier than ever. As much as a techno-geek as I am, I admit I feel a certain amount of trepidation in being in relationships as the vast array of messaging media makes it increasingly easy for individuals to cheat and not get caught.. Most people assume that if we get involved with someone, the idea is we quit dating other people. Ergo,
Awkward Conversation #1. At the very least, you’d think that once you get married, it’s just a given that the exchange of rings and vows should precipitate a withdrawal from the dating pool..
You’d think that, but occasionally, you’d be wrong.
This past weekend I received a message from someone on Friendster, an online community like My Space that I posted a profile on last year. I had not logged in since last June sometime and AJ was my only friend on Friendster, so you can see why I was quite surprised to see a message originated from there. Here’s what the message said:
Hi! My name is Alan and I currently live in Chicago but come to RTP quite often for work. I know that you are looking for a "single" guy....but was wondering if you would consider any kind of a relationship (ok.. affair) with a married man. I work as the Medical Director for a pharmaceutical company and we are conducting many clinical trials in RTP, therefore, I travel to your city quite often. If you would have any interest in having dinner....and seeing what may or may not develop - I know that I would very much enjoy it. I can send you photos if you like....just let me know what email to use. My email is **DELETED** I do hope that you will write back...... Until then, Alan My reply:
Alan,Thanks for your interest. Apparently you did not read my profile very closely. The part where it says "active in my church" probably should have been a big hint that adultery is not something I would consider.I will be praying for you and your wife.JennI forwarded it on to The Usual Suspects whose general response was that I let him off too easily. Kansas’ suggested response used the word “ass bandit”. And they were all annoyed I deleted his email as they wanted to form some kind of
Matrimony Vigilante Email Posse and electronically kick his ass. I know, I probably was way too easy on the guy, but you know, if someone is so low, such a total scumbag as to attempt to engage a single mother of 2 children in an affair, there is nothing I can say that will possibly make a difference. The man is just plain stupid.. Ultimately, he will get caught and, God willing, his wife will get it all. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get a disease from him first. I know it seems out of character for me to just let somethinglike that go with such a tame email but I really am not some kind of crazy person that seeks retribution for the wrongdoings of others on their behalf.
*ConclusionI have to wonder, are men really this fucking stupid? On one hand, I can see the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" attitude from guy at the coffee shop but the other two mystify me. Take the guy from the pub, I just don't get.. He lives here.. And is acquainted with someone I ended up dating.. That detail aside, what if I had seen him out day at the Wal-Mart with his wife and kids and walked up, given him a huge hug and said something like:
"Hey! I was wondering if I'd ever see you again.. I thought you were going to call me so we could go out??".. Something tells me that would not have made the little woman happy.. In an effort to cut the guy some slack, I am willing to chalk that one up to “drunk thing” and assume he normally is a devoted and faithful husband..
But the last guy.. Why would you email someone you know nothing about and ask them if they want to have an affair with you? My moral indignation aside, the guy wouldn’t make it past my screening process (which admittedly is highly flawed) as he was obviously an idiot. I don’t care if he is the Medical Director of a major pharma company, he’s dumb as a box of rocks. Let’s examine the evidence: My profile made reference to my extensive church activities and my having 2 kids. What about that would lead someone to believe that having an affair with a married man is going to be on the menu with me? That’s like emailing Pat Robertson and seeing if he’d be up for a night of dinner and dancing at a gay bar with Hugo Chavez and Ted Kennedy. Let's face it folks, the R.S.V.P. on that one is going to be a "No"..
I admit, that last one really shook my faith in men. I have such a hard time really opening up to someone and trusting them when I have experiences such as these in my head. Trust is such a fragile thing. Granted, men as a whole should not be punished for the misdeeds of a few, but it is my unfortunate belief that the few are not so few anymore.. Do all men cheat? Or rather, would all men cheat if they had the chance and really believed they could get away with it? I’d like to think that strength of character and basic love and respect for their loved one would keep a guy faithful.. But let's be realistic, I think most women would be happy if fear of disease guaranteed fidelity..
As I once again begin the process of new dating experiences, I say a little prayer that I can push the memories of these experiences out of my mind and focus instead the good guys that are out there.. Men of character and quality like Big Brother, Kansas, Rich, HunnyBunny, Special Agent SmartAss, StormTrooper Rich, The Mad Scotsman, Rene, Clyde, Brother Wade, Kendrick and Stan, just to name a few.. You guys are the ones that give us ladies faith to go on those first dates.. And for that, on behalf of my entire gender, I say thanks for not being a bunch of desperate, leg-humping, cheating troglodytish bastards..
Happy dating, y'all..
*Legal Disclaimer. In the event that “Alan” comes across this posting, I’d like to state for the record that I did not take your personal email address and use it to sign you up for all those Christian Marriage newsletters, the BDSM product listing updates, the guy-on-guy gay porn video sampler packs or register you as a sex offender for criminal bestiality in 7 states and the District of Columbia. That was clearly the work of some less than law abiding citizen who was appalled and disgusted by your actions and took it upon themselves to extract retribution on your wife’s behalf. Thank-you.
Awkward Conversations
There are many, many wonderful things about new relationships.. The butterflies you get in your stomach, the fact that everything is fresh and new, first kisses, that stupidly optomistic feeling that maybe this will be true love, learning all the things that make them special and wonderful.. It's all grand and exciting..
And then there are the less wonderful things about new relationships.. Wondering if he's going to run away screaming the first time he sees you wihout your makeup, figuring out how your lives fit together, if they fit together, all the possible pitfalls that you might encounter such as substance abuse issues, internet porn addictions, bodies in the closet, finding out he's a Republican.. It's all scary and overwhelming..
Despite all the fears and potential horrors of new relationships, occaisionally all the wonderful things outnumber the fears and potential road-bumps and you can actually move out of dating and into a relationship.. This transition is not always easy.. Typically it requires a rite of passage that no one enjoys, also known as The Awkward Conversations.. In order for a couple to move from just dating into an actual relationship there are 2 major milestone conversations that must or should take place:
1.
The Monogamy Conversation AKA Are You Still Dating Anyone Else?? / Are We Dating Exclusively?? This is absolutely critical to ask when you begin to tiptoe into the relationship area.. While it is awkward to bring up and highly dreaded as we women are afraid that guys will jump to the conclusion that the next phrase out of our mouths will be tinged with matrimonial intent, it is unfortunately a conversation that can't be avoided. Almost any woman with more than about 6 months of dating experience under her belt has had the even less comfortable moment when you are out with your girlfriends and bump into your "boyfriend" who just happens to be on a date with someone else.. Ouch.. And as much as this would hurt, it can't be considered cheating if you have not "defined the terms of the contract".. I once found myself in a sitaution where I was dating more than one person on what I considered to be a casual level.. No mention of exclusivity was stated and yet, I slowly came to realize that that both were operating under the idea that I was seeing them exclusively. I was juggling and found myself with "too many balls in the air".. At the advice of my beloved Cora Bean, I performed a "ball reduction exercise" in which I determined who I wanted to be involved with more, where my heart was really at and then delicately extracted myself from the other situation..
2.
The Birth Control / Condom Conversation AKA How Long Do I Have to Keep Wearing These Things?? / What Do You Mean You're Not On The Pill?? This mind numbingly uncomfortable conversation usually falls after the Monogamy Conversation, altho it is typically my practice to just run the two together and get it all out of the way at once. Generally, once you've established a certain level of trust and intimacy and that you're both not intending to go out and sleep with any other people, you realize that you might want to be able to have truly spontaneous albeit safe sex with your beloved. There are typically 2 barriers to this fear of pregnancy and fear of disease. Most men are centered on their desire to rid themselves of condoms.. I know of exactly 2 men in my entire life that actually don't mind condom useage and will continue to prefer them as birth control even after the health factors have been eliminated. Amazingly enough, despite the fact that our lives are on the line, I know so many people that just stop using condoms without any real discussion as to if there is any known communicable diseases in play. What's amusing is there are people that would insist on using them for a one night stand but once they start dating someone, they just assume it's safe. As a part of my annual check-up I have a complete STD and blood panel run. Now, maybe that's hyper paranoid but even if I have been in a monogamous relationship, it doesn't hurt to make sure that everything checks out. It wouldn't be the first time a girl went in for a pap and came out with the clap. I no longer even try to be discreet or coy about the whole thing.. I ususally wait til I've had a glass of wine or two and just kind of blurt out
"You know, I hate condoms, we're not sleeping with anyone else I have paperwork and an IUD so when was your last test??" It's like asking someone if their dog has had all its shots before you pet it.. There's just no easy way to do it so you might as well just get it over with..
You know, given all the hurdles, awkwardness and embarrassing issues that have to be dealt with in modern romance, it's a wonder we manage to advance the species at all.. and yet, somehow, once certain road blocks have been sidestepped, there is a new foundation with which to work with.. a new sense of trust, openness and a feeling of connectedness.. Somehow, knowing the rewards that await us; genuine openness and intimacy and unencumbered, totally free, hot, sweaty monkey sex, we blithely tip toe our way through the awkwardness and into a new potentially emoitionally raw territory called love..
And it is so very worth it..
For irony's sake, I will reveal that I met Mr. Fantastic online through My Space.
